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Family Strengthening Initiative
June 2008
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Leaders Retreat: Involving The Community
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 FuturoNow recently hosted a Marriage Education Leaders Retreat as an outreach to faith and community based organizations not previously affiliated with the FuturoNow Healthy Marriage Initiative.
The purpose of the seminar was to provide marriage enhancement tools to community leaders, and to expose them to various methods for providing marriage education to their own constituents.
"It was inspiring to see the level of engagement for these couples who are leaders in their own community," said Mark Orphan, FuturoNow project director. "On the one hand, they are taking a much-needed time-out to strengthen their own marriages. At the same time, they are learning how to take these tools back to the families they serve in their community."
During the retreat, Joseph L. Hernandez, PhD and his wife Michelle Hernandez, M.A. facilitated the curriculum "The Strongest Link: The Couple," designed to provide couples with tools that enrich their marriage experience and strengthen the bond of matrimony.
Twenty-eight couples attended the two-day seminar which was held in Old Town, Pasadena.
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Opposites Attract: Allowing For Personality Differences
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 "Opposites attract," is a phenomenon that may describe how two very different personalities wind up married, but it also can describe the frustration that may occur when the newness of the relationship wears off, says marriage and family therapist Dr. Alicia La Hoz, director of the
Family Bridges Marriage Initiative in Chicago.
"Ironically, it's the differences in personality that originally attracted us to our partner that now drive us crazy with frustration," La Hoz says. Unless individuals take into account differences in personality styles, it's easy to misinterpret a partner's motives and take offense or begin to argue
Being extroverted or introverted are among many personality attributes that determine how individuals respond to demands placed upon them by others. People who are introverted have the tendency to become more exhausted when they are at social events or when they are in the company of others, but feel rejuvenated when they can spend time on their own. On the other hand extroverted individuals enjoy social events and activities and tend to get energized by others, but may feel lonely when they're on their own for long periods of time.
The key is to understand yourself and your partner and arrive at an agreement that brings balance to your personalities, La Hoz says. Too much solitude and isolation is unhealthy as is too much partying and socializing.
"Creating a balance where the needs of the individual and the couple are respected is the best outcome," La Hoz recommends. "The goal is to put limits on both partners' tendencies. Instead of looking at the differences as a frustration, learn to appreciate the contrast as a means to growth."
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New Hope Community Church: Teaching Families To Communicate
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 Seeing the change that occurs when families begin to communicate effectively is one of the great benefits of being involved in FuturoNow's marriage initiative, says Eva De La Rosa, counseling minister and education outreach director at New Hope Community Church in El Monte.
"I've found that family problems generally center on poor communication, " De La Rosa says. "The Family Wellness workshops help couples and families begin to listen to each other rather than try to read minds and understand body language. With these skills, they can begin to solve problems together because they're communicating better."
De La Rosa said the support that couples receive in workshop settings is of paramount importance. "When couples work with a counselor one-on-one they often believe they're the only family with problems. But when we bring them together, they have a built-in support group and they can see that other couples struggle just like they do," she said.
To continue to build the friendships that begin in classes, De La Rosa said New Hope's Family Ministries plans frequent "reunions" where families can have fun together and receive additional information on healthy relationships.
In addition to its work with FuturoNow, the organization is involved in other services including the Women's Job Corp where women are trained in money management, communication, job and life skills. This fall, the church also will become part of the Men's Job Corp which offers similar services to males looking for work.
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DID YOU KNOW?
Latinas enumerated in the 2000 Census were 13% more likely than Anglo women
and more than 30% as likely as African American women, to experience
first marriage by ages 20 - 24 years.
(U.S. Bureau of the Census, 2000).
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